Tonight Bryan, my mom and I went to the temple. In the past my temple experience has always been nice, I go because I know I covenanted to and I feel good when I am there. I haven't had big overwhelming, spiritual experiences while being there like most people say they do. It made me feel bad, like maybe I was doing something wrong. But I kept going because although small and simple, my experiences were nice.
Tonight though, was wonderful. I felt so much peace. I had questions answered, I had perspective. I still wished I could go home to see my baby girl, but I felt better knowing where she is and that God has a plan for her. I laughed and smiled with Bryan, which felt good.
Recently they have changed the temple program slightly, still same words, but with new meaning. I learned so much, especially with my new perspective on eternal families and the Plan of Salvation. I have read this quote probably 15 times in the last few days from many loving people who have sent it to me. And I thought of it tonight while in the temple.
“In my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. . . . The Lord takes many away even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." - Joseph Smith.
One thing that really stuck out to me tonight in the temple is that Satan is real, he is real! He is wicked and deceitful and real. He wants us to fail and he will do whatever it takes. As I thought about how truly terrible he can be, I was so grateful my sweet Jane never has to be near him. When she is resurrected someday and I have her again, it will be a world where Satan will be bound. She will never have to feel his temptations.
Tomorrow may be another tough one with a lot of pain, but right now I am grateful.
Christy, I've been thinking about you and your sweet Jane nearly non-stop for the last three days. Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for being an example of a strong mother and woman. I'm truly grateful for your example and continue to pray for you and your sweet family every day! xoxo
ReplyDeleteHow beautiful, Christy. Love you!
ReplyDeleteOh yes Christy, he is real. He (and his followers) are very real. Also, they KNOW us. They remember us. They want to hurt us, and keep us from returning home because they can NEVER have what we have.
ReplyDeleteYour little Janie will be waiting for you, just as she is. You will have the chance to hold her again in her tiny form, and raise her without having to fight the evil of this world.
Oh what a special spirit she must be. How blessed we were to have felt it, and share a small time with her.
I admire your strength so much Christy! You have such a wonderful perspective and I know Heavenly Father will continue to bless and comfort you through this unbelievably difficult time! Our prayers are with you guys always. And thank you for sharing along the way!
ReplyDeleteDearest Christy,
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful you were able to attend the temple. I find peace there that I can't seem to find anywhere else. Thank you for sharing your tender feelings.
On Sunday I read a talk by President Uchtdorf, Forget Me Not. I thought I would share the following quote...
"Sisters, wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you with an infinite love...
The love of God and the power of the restored gospel are redemptive and saving. If you will only allow His divine love into your life, it can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow."
We continue to pray for you and your family. May you feel the love of the Lord and all those you care for you.
Christy,
ReplyDeleteI have a co-worker/friend here in Cedar City that lost their 5 month old little boy in March to SIDS. His wife has a had a blog before they lost their little Link. I encourage you to go on and read the things they have done or the feelings they have dealt with in this hard process. I have given them your blog address in hopes that you can reach out to each other and be a support for one another. http://jhhamiltonhappenings.blogspot.com/
Here you go! Let me know what you think! All my Love, Mindy Savage
Nothing can take away the sorrow of losing a child but as our first parents discovered, "it is better for us to go through sorrow so that we can fully comprehend joy." Stay strong and support eachother. People you don't know and have never met are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteChristy, I went to the temple last night, too. I put your name on the prayer roll and thought about you and your family throughout the session. I, too, know that Satan is real. His goal is to bring each of us down, but if we are faithful to our covenants, the light of Christ will shine through. And I also know that your sweet Jane is in loving arms.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet post. I love that quote by Joseph Smith. What a blessing to have that message from him. This post inspired me, I thank you for that. Amazing things can happen in the temple and I needed that reminder. You are such a strong woman and it's moving to read your words.
ReplyDeleteChristy, that is such a touching and tender post. I am so glad that you were able to go to the temple and feel peace. The House of the Lord is truly a holy place. I love your testimony that Jane is in Heaven, safe and far away from all evil, and that you will see her again. Your eternal perspective is pure and sweet and so so true. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteLove this, and love how honest and real you are. It's something I have always admired about you. I love that you went to the temple, and found some peace. This is what I continually pray for for you and your family. I've read both of your blog posts, and have loved both.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself the gift of time and kindness as you search for healing.
You are remarkable. You are loved.
I am sorry for your family's loss. I hope that you will feel continued peace, comfort, and love in the days, week, and months to come.
ReplyDelete