How To Help Heal a Grieving Heart

Something a lot of people have said to me lately is "I don't even know what to say." Or they feel like anything they say isn't going to help. I know I always shied away from these difficult situations because I just didn't know how to handle them. So I thought I would tell you what helps me, and maybe it will help other people in the future too.

Just saying "I love you", "I'm thinking of you", "I'm crying with you" means so much. Simple things. You aren't going to fix this, so don't feel like you need to wait to have some profound words before you say anything. Really anything helps.

I have a wonderful church family in our area who has lifted a lot of burden for us. Mowing our lawn, decorating our house, hanging up lights, bringing meals, stocking our fridge, cleaning our house, picking up kids are some ways they have a served us. That has been been so helpful. We haven't had to worry about those physical things and were able to focus on our grieving and healing.

The financial donations we have received have been overwhelming and humbling. I haven't said anything about them yet on the blog because I didn't feel like I had the words sufficient enough to express my gratitude. Every donation we received felt like a giant hug. Picking burial plots, a casket, flowers, traveling expenses and all those decisions were so difficult and physically sickening. Seriously, I was having to take Zofran for my nausea because I felt so ill. I cannot imagine having to make those decisions under the stress of finances. We felt so blessed to be able to pick whatever we wanted. We were even able to buy two extra burial plots next to Jane for Bryan and I. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generosity.

Hugs help. I have never been a huggy person, but I am now. It is a wonderful expression of love and they just feel good.

Sharing the faith you have, or even the faith you hope to have or wish you had. It inspires me and reminds me that I too have faith, it's just a little buried sometimes under numbness and heartache. But it's there.

Knowledge is power and I have found a lot of peace and strength in reading what prophets have revealed about the death of children. Where they are, what they are doing, why they were taken, when I will see Jane again and how it is possible that she receives salvation though she hasn't received her saving ordinances yet. A book that has been especially helpful is called Angel Children by Mary V. Hill, it is available on amazon for $8. She lost a son and spent a lot of time researching the subject in the scriptures and what modern day prophets have revealed. I have prayed specifically about the things I have read and have felt a strong peace of heart and mind. That is how the Holy Ghost confirms truth.

Prayers! I have believed in the power of prayer in the past, but I have gained a whole lot stronger testimony of it recently. It is powerful and it helps! I have shared this thought a few times already, but I know God hears everyone's prayers. Whether you are experienced or it is your first time.  Whether you're muslim, jewish, catholic, baptist, mormon, atheist, anything else or just unsure; if you put an effort into praying it will be heard.  Heavenly Father takes your prayers in high regard. When they are said for our family, he blesses you and us for it. So prayers, lots of prayers help. Truly.