For the last several months I have been mentioning to my close friends and family that I am having an irrationally difficult time with my little brother graduating from High School and leaving to serve a two year mission.
I didn't understand my emotions and why they were so intense and mostly negative about Blake's growing up and moving on.
I finally realized what it is. Remember my post almost 1 year ago when my brother in law came home from his mission? And I didn't realize it- but that reunion felt like a small degree of what my reunion will be with Jane? Well, having to say another extended "see ya later" to Blake right now is bringing back those difficult feelings of unfamiliarity and loss. Albeit to a much smaller degree because I still get to see pictures, read updates and talk to Blake twice a year. Oh what I would give for an email update from Jane.
There are many similarities to these "see ya laters." I have to believe Jane was 'Called To Serve' just like Blake is. That she has a mission and purpose in her departure. I have to believe Jane is growing and becoming better and more mature from her experience just like I know Blake will. I am grateful for the spiritual example Jane and Blake are to myself and family. But it's still hard to let go. To not have these people we love available to talk to or text or be around whenever we want.
I have felt many times that the work Jane and Blake are involved in are the same. I know, know, Jane will be with Blake at times on his mission. She cares about Blake's missionary service just as much, if not more, than we do because I am sure she has a better understanding of it's importance. I hope that like I survived losing Jane and finding joy, I will be able to recognize the joy in losing Blake to our new Elder Wilcox.
"In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless13 and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny."
